Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML
Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's OK, though, she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU 10
Think very hard before you reproduce with this man
MichaelDeSanta 20
What is off road ghost riding?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
Si123 33
LOL!!!!!!
JMichael 26
Well hopefully this helps him to learn his lesson.
macystar 14
#57, I don't know why you got thumbed down, because your comment actually made me laugh.
SuperMew 22
The small blessing here is that he is still alive and hopefully learns his lesson about stupid activities. I would however have a long talk with him about smart choices. I have to say, a lot of people are commenting about not "adding that to the gene pool." While this might seem a little harsh, I have dated guys who think they have brilliant ideas and that stupidity does not exist as long as you are having fun. It gets tiring having to clean up the messes of eternal children. If this is a common occurrence, you might want to think about whether or not being with the future members of Jackass is best for you.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Not many people know that "dropping the kids off at the pool" means taking a dump.
marcusadam21 2
Not you deserved it but he deserved it haha
Muttley9 13
"Stupid is as stupid does ma'am." - Forrest Gump "You can't fix stupid." - Ron White Should I go on? :)
commandercolbert 6
did he also get a vesectomy?
DanielleinDC 34
You still want to marry this guy, OP? If you're old enough to get married, you should be old enough to know that ghost riding is a dumb idea and a good way to win a Darwin Award.
amisenho 11
Well, that's what happens when you marry Peter Griffin.