Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend handed me this month’s rental statement with “Paid” written in red ink. He says it’s my gift, because, "that shit adds up every month" and I should be "grateful" that I have a roof over my head for another month instead of being "materialistic." FML
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Top comments
604 11
If he asks why you're not using them, tell him you already did; they were accepted by a competitor for double the value.
queenofirony 12
Give him a coupon for one sleep on the couch.
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Comments (126)
PraparAnis 19
Manus manum lavat.
HighlandShadows 48
Quidem non debet esse condicionalis, sed donum
truckers_wife 23
everyone keeps saying how rude and inconsiderate he was, but what if he didn't realize what he was doing? maybe he was truly trying to be sweet and couldn't think of what to put on them. regular coupons come with conditions too. like buy one get one free, free with purchase of something else, you can't just have it for free.
Polynomial 28
Good point ...
Algorithm 24
Then he's an idiot instead of a pig.
Purexinsanity 46
Except they're handmade coupons? Not coupons from a company that have something to lose if they just started giving away free stuff. I believe in giving the benefit of the doubt but like #47 said, if he's not a selfish prick then he's an idiot.
truckers_wife 23
what I meant was that he might have been using coupons that he's seen in the past as an example for his home made ones, not that he got them from somewhere
betweenwinds 18
Even if he based his coupons off of real store offers, he's still cheating the system. He could have offered whatever in return for an "I love you" or a smile/hug/kiss/fistbump/handshake/whatever else simple to give. Instead, he decided to go all-in and require a bj. Very self-centered "gift."
truckers_wife 23
yes, that definitely would have been better
awesumous 16
Soooo... you have to WORK for your present!!
jberg583 12
Today, for my GF's birthday, I gave her a sweet coupon book. Now she broke up with me, that's what I get for being thoughtful. FML
limabeans101029 21
It miiiiiight be considered sweet and thoughtful if OP didn't have to do anything in return. It's her birthday present, why should she have to do anything? Plus the back massage should definitely be longer than 10 minutes
kutchbabe 13
You're calling him "boyfriend", I would call him "single" if I were you?
mattrd_fml 31
give him the same thing for his birthday ND see how much he likes it.
xero_form 4
It was clever! Futile, but clever
jadeleepenguin 29
I can't believe how many people are against the coupons.
ThePandoricaOpen 18
It's not the coupons themselves that's the issue, it's what's written on them.
limabeans101029 21
And they might be fun if he'd just made them out the blue, but they're OP's birthday present. What kind of a birthday present is that?! Also it's silly of him to be getting mad at OP for not using them.
Overlord247 20
Coupons are a shitty gift in any case. FYL OP.
Jesse_Bitch 9
Your boyfriend is a bitch