Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
checkyesbecca 0
And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.
e86 0
I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (311)
mfed1120 0
im with #21 on this ****.
thor82188 0
why are people bashing OP? nothing wrong with that at all. there are some people that are just more sexually open. it's like getting road head or getting a handjob at the movies.
jaclynm 0
in a public place? seriously? keep that crap to yourself. and you didn't realize there was a table for four? wow you're an idiot and a **** at that.
pommeblossom 0
Completely your fault, why would you do that?!
Jaxro 6
Hahah 25, you have made my afternoon.
BaldOuting 0
that's what you get for being a **** in public.
AWESOM_E 0
Did it occur to anyone that dinner doesn't necessarily have to be in a restaurant?
shellibelli 0
silly, she said "after we ordered"
wowfmlife 0
Probably the most action the oldies have seen in a while
lady4 0
Agree with #11. Your boyfriend is a dumbass and you are too. First of all if you're gonna play with his dick watch where you're doing it at and for him, if his dick is out in the open with your hand on it, why would he stand up??? Yeah I know his parents were coming but i'm pretty sure it does not take that long to put his dick back in!!!
wowfmlife 0
#48 WENT to dinner implies they went somewhere to eat. If they went somewhere, they weren't at home, and if they went to the parents' house, she's still an idiot.