Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
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Top comments
checkyesbecca 0
And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.
e86 0
I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.
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Comments (311)
Us3rNam3 0
Ignore the children, if you ever break up with your boyfriend I'm here for you
fyl8847 0
Today, I was meeting my son and his girlfriend for dinner at a nice restaurant. He stood up to greet me and his pants were unzipped with his girlfriend playing with his dick. FML.
raithex 0
Win. Plain and simple win.
llSgtScopell 0
Jeeze just take him to the bathroom.....
piderman13 0
a relationship based on sex does not last. i know this from first hand experience. however being spontaneous is important. but doing something like this is an indication of a sex based relationship. girl you need to grow up and have boundaries.
spazz666 18
A relationship based on sex doesn't last, no, but a relationship lacking sex does not last either. You, like the rest of us, don't know the situation. Maybe the boyfriend pointed out to her that he would like her to try and be more spontaneous, or that he feels sexually frustrated. So, she made a bad choice... Oh well. It doesn't mean that their relationship is based on sex. Also, you don't have to do something sexual to consider it spontaneous. It could just be a last minute "honey, get dressed were going out".
StephanieSays 0
your boyfriend is any idiot. he did not HAVE to stand to greet his parents. but you are also stupid. you wait AT LEAST until drinks or dessert to start such under table handshakes.
strangersdk 0
You're an awesome girlfriend just got caught in a shitty situation. I wish my girlfriend would get over her thing. She was a virgin and has trouble with foreplay, even though she has no problem letting me make her ******.
gummibehrs 4
You ******* douchebag. What would the "thing" she needs to "get over" be, her virginity and awkwardness with sexual acts? So sorry for you that you have a nice girl. Stupid dick, go die in a fire. How sad for her her that she lost her virginity to a stupid, likely ugly asshole like you. And God forbid you ever get laid again. I feel sorry for the drunk ****** with low self-esteem you pursue after your girlfriend dumps your pathetic stupid ass.
Lancerman7449 0
relax #234
UnCensoredBitch 0
So he stands up to greet them with your hand in his pants? WTF?
alex_vik 1
#25 - Please tell me that was a joke. #38 - He probably didn't know his girlfriend was trying to gratify herself with his dick. And #36 - You don't stand up to show a little respect when meeting someone for dinner?
Lotus_Eater 0
You were planning on giving him a handjob before eating? That's just gross.
AntiChrist7 0
you deserved it. not for opening his fly, but for choosing a boyfriend with the sexual sophistication of a donkey