Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
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Top comments
checkyesbecca 0
And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.
e86 0
I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.
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Comments (311)
ohhhhshizzz 0
#21. youre a bitch. you guys dont know her so yall cant call her a ****/***** etc. etc. i know plenty ****** who keep it on the low(: and OP ydi, cause you should have atleast waited till you go to the bathroom. That is kinda sick, if I were eating at that resturant I would have walked up to you and said somethng.
_Sazzle 0
Public place playing hey???
FMLFAN1 0
EWWWW! That's so disgusting! Who does that in a public place right before they are about to eat?! I hope you washed your hands afterwards!
genius_man16 1
i was just thinking that #61 apparently the internet is full of prudes. Jesus, lay off the OP! Just because you aren't in that open of a relationship does not in the slightest way make the OP a ****. #35 just because she was doing that in public doesn't make it a sex-based relationship, obviously with no backstory or knowledge about the OP and her BF it is easy to assume that but you know what that does. ;) I say that sucks, FYL indeed, why wouldn't your BF tell you his parents were coming? Or notice you were undoing his fly? you must really be discreet if he didn't notice ;) you should come over to my place, haha
flipper_gv 0
sounds like my ex girlfriend, and I gotta tell you, it was ******* annoying. When you get to the point you need to say:"stop always trying to touch my penis and stop trying to **** me everywhere!", you know she crossed the line.
ariissocutelike 0
Thank u for being a normal person! :D
jessxoxo28 5
wow, u cant try to be decent at a public place???
infowarrior 0
So how did this guy not notice a hand in his pants?
shmoryn 0
I can't believe 95% of these comments are so disgusted by a little public handjob! It's not like she crawled under the table. We should all be having a little more fun like this minus the bad timing.
alewiina 0
#73... There's a difference between being a prude, and being in the same restaurant as some girl that's jacking off her boyfriend when you're trying to eat. Its disgusting and no one wants to see/hear it. There's a reason why there are indecency laws. Have respect for other people's space.
rosiegrewup 0
#86, No, it means people have a sense of propriety and are aware that trying to wank someone off in a restaurant is a) disgusting and b) illegal. Moron.