Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
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Top comments
checkyesbecca 0
And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.
e86 0
I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.
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Comments (311)
xanhorn 0
Fake. He wouldnt stand up knowing your hand was there. And he would have known. Period.
airandfingers 0
#3: I'm pretty sure she was trying to surprise her boyfriend; that's why she unzipped his fly "really slowly." #4: LOL
5ive 0
Wow you were about to eat dinner & you were touching his dick? Sicko!!! Lmao
Newtons_Cradle 0
you totally deserved that. no one wants to see that shit while they're trying to eat.
beccaisonnn 0
why the hell would you do that in a public restaurant
hootersgirl09 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Did you know that his parents were coming? Keep your hands to yourself until you get to the bedroom, k? xoxo, Kate :]
birdofparadise 16
Wait, so your name is hootersgirl and you're telling people to keep they're hands to themselves in public? If you actually work at that place, you really shouldn't be casting stones on how people act. By the way, no I'm not saying this because I'm jealous or such. I was offered a job there simply for how I look. I declined because I don't like dressing like a ***** on a daily basis.
c_R_07 0
you're dumb
luckyyyme 0
Agree with #4. There isn't anything wrong with being a sexual person. But keep it to yourself behind closed doors.
jellybean17 0
in public?! REALLY?! not that there's anything wrong with that, power to ya for the public sexual acts, but definitely be more prepared!
kwbuzz23wk 0
#4 FTW! and yeah save it for the bed room, or atleast not in a public restraunt (sp?). most guys would rather wait and get freaky in a private place than recieve a hand job at a restraunt