Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
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Top comments
i_live2fly 0
OMFG that is one ****** up kid!!!!!!!!
steakpak 0
Ya, that's gonna be a little problem. Most serial killers have a history of harming animals as children. You should seriously seek some professional help for him.
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Comments (511)
iloveroger 0
THIS IS SUPER HILARIOUS. ROFLMAO FUNNY. :D BUT YEA THE KID SERIOUSLY NEEDS HELP..... I SUGGEST U TAKE ANYTHING THAT CAN BE TIED AROUND UR NECK AWAY FROM HIM. JUST AS A PRECAUTION...
blaihhh 0
I'm so sorry , I just read that to my cousin who is a child psychologist, she said he needs to be taken to get professional treatment IMMEDIATELY. I pray for your family xo
shiny16 0
DAMN dude seriously that kid needs help !!!! i suggest throwing him in the ocean and then drive away!! because even a proffesional wont be able 2 help that MESS!!!
lyssgross 16
What is wrong with you? He's a little kid! Albeit disturbed, but still his own brother and somebody's son! Shame on you.
ummwow 0
whoa....therapy needed much? seriously... psychopathic behavior
drh1986 0
Isn't that how michael myers started out?
Harlei81 0
Holy shit... Lock your doors! Better yet, move away. Far away. No, seriously he is ****** in the brain...disturbing Seek help
xTiDWoPx 0
He's just a kid I mean who doesn't do that...? Ha.. Hide.. Run.. Ha
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Killing small animals without remorse is something only a psycho would do.
midget_chinese 0
wat...hanging from a ceiling? soory, ok that was bad :p....yeah, im with all the ppl that said F-thehamster's-Life
Ouchmyballs3 0
So your bro hung his own hamster? If he did I say an asylum would be appropriate.
Rectov 10
Better than hanging a person
ShelbyG 0
God. That is ****** up. LOL. But seriously Id ******* stay at a friends house for a couple months...... I suggest you keep him away from Hockey, Sharp things, Crime shows, Band practice, Fire and Sugar = Things that will screw up a kid. Ohhhh. I just remembered that book called 'When The Wind Blows' hes just like the killer in the book....o_o; Yeahh. Dont go near him.