Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
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Top comments
i_live2fly 0
OMFG that is one ****** up kid!!!!!!!!
steakpak 0
Ya, that's gonna be a little problem. Most serial killers have a history of harming animals as children. You should seriously seek some professional help for him.
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Comments (511)
xxjoexx 0
You should have taken the hint when he named it kwai chang.
Nightfallz 0
Lock your doors at night till he gets some help. O_O
anonaussie 0
wow your brother sounds messed up!!!! What did your rentals say?
pink_flamingo88 0
that kid needs to be locked up in an institution. and be hung from the ceiling so he knows what it feels like. poor hamster:(
redbluegreen 41
Why would your brother killing a hamster have to be the thing that gives your parents a clue that there's more then just a problem with him making friends? Buying someone a pet isn't a foolproof way to fix problems. I don't see why parents do this sort of thing. The kid needs counseling. Seriously. There's probably more going on then your parents know about.
Rectov 10
Parents always assume that if the kid is acting different than normal or not being friendly with other kids that he's just being a little asshole. Usually in these situations there's something bigger there
divine_fml 0
He needs help obviously! This is more tragicly sad than anything... :( Poor Hamster. Poor friends! O.O
lyndis_fml 0
Why would you get him a pet? Maybe he didn't want a damn hamster. I wouldn't want someone to give me a shitty pet that doesn't do tricks and makes noise all night.
Nerry_fml 0
cause you know, animals are only here for our entertainment...
michellenKG 5
what noise exactly does a hamster make?
evilplatypus 39
19 - Really? THAT's what you take away from this? 488 - The squeak of the wheel, the clicking of the water bottle, the water bottle hitting the glass, and, occasionally, the hamster itself squeaking. They can be very noisy.
december19 0
# 12...The best comment so far...I could not stop laughing
namelessfew 0
That's the first symptom of a serial killer.
jakeistcool 0
dammm hes a killer!!!!