Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML
Today, I spotted my dad watching a wildlife/nature video. I pointed out to him that the animal on the screen was critically endangered; he rebutted by telling me that it's impossible for the animal on the screen to go extinct because people keep hunting it. FML
Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, I had an argument with my dad about how Alpo dog food is trash and is why his dog keeps having terrible farts and diarrhea. My dad refuses to believe me, so now I'm always scrubbing vile, smelly, mucous-laden dog diarrhea out of the carpet. I'm a pet nutritionist. FML
Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML
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Top comments
FireFlie07 20
Eh, who said mermaids aren't real? They could be.
challan 19
What?! Are you telling me that mermaids don't exist? Next you'll tell me that Santa is imaginary as well!
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Comments (121)
jessicarenee_x 4
sounds like your dad believes in the illuminati..
AlwaysWatching 27
Knowing the government, he could be right