Today, I had my 28-week ultrasound. Baby is doing well, but has clearly inherited his/her father's growth genetics and currently measures at the 96th percentile. I'm a tiny woman (pre-pregnancy 105lbs). I'm screwed for the delivery. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML
Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML
Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my twin sister gave birth and somehow now weighs less than before she was pregnant. She also has huge boobs now and not a stretch mark in sight. Meanwhile, I’m still carrying an extra 15 pounds, even though I gave birth 5 years ago, and so many stretch marks I look like a fat zebra. FML
Today, my brother was officially diagnosed with gigantism. According to the specialist doctor, he'll probably be 8 feet tall, if not taller. Hearing this, my brother looked at me and said, "Remember when you used to pick on me for being smaller than you? Karma's a bitch, ain't it?" I’m so screwed. FML
Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML
Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. She said I could use it as an opportunity to “trim down.” I’m 130lbs and muscular. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
Just book the cesarian and start rubbing on the bio-oil (Google it, fantastic stuff) now. My sisters kids where all well over 10lb and they had to pull them all out nearly a month early or she would have exploded. One of the boys is now 6ft 8 and the other is 6ft 6. Natural delivery is fine for normal size babies but when you are looking at birthing a giant... Yeah, just book the surgery and do not beat yourself up about it for a single instant. Natural delivery for seriously oversized kids is a lot more dangerous than a quick cesarian, even for average size women. Don't be a 'hero', no matter what anyone says, you'll put yourself and your kid in a lot more danger. Congratulations on your impending motherhood and remember, it's not about how the kid enters the world, only about it happening safely. Congrats and good luck 💋💋
OptimalPath 13
Agree with the previous poster, the Caesarian is designed so that big kids don't take the lives of their moms with their birth. My wife had incorrect baby position and version failed. She was long time kicking herself "I am not a woman enough, I couldn't even give a proper birth to my son" -- but that was just her postpartum depression speaking. She got over it. So will you. And a giant baby - that's all right. I was a giant baby, 9½ lbs and 22 in. My mom had no doubts about Caesarian. Cheer up, we live in civilised world and don't have to let our women die for their childbirth.
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Comments (2)
FluffythePink 23
Just book the cesarian and start rubbing on the bio-oil (Google it, fantastic stuff) now. My sisters kids where all well over 10lb and they had to pull them all out nearly a month early or she would have exploded. One of the boys is now 6ft 8 and the other is 6ft 6. Natural delivery is fine for normal size babies but when you are looking at birthing a giant... Yeah, just book the surgery and do not beat yourself up about it for a single instant. Natural delivery for seriously oversized kids is a lot more dangerous than a quick cesarian, even for average size women. Don't be a 'hero', no matter what anyone says, you'll put yourself and your kid in a lot more danger. Congratulations on your impending motherhood and remember, it's not about how the kid enters the world, only about it happening safely. Congrats and good luck 💋💋
OptimalPath 13
Agree with the previous poster, the Caesarian is designed so that big kids don't take the lives of their moms with their birth. My wife had incorrect baby position and version failed. She was long time kicking herself "I am not a woman enough, I couldn't even give a proper birth to my son" -- but that was just her postpartum depression speaking. She got over it. So will you. And a giant baby - that's all right. I was a giant baby, 9½ lbs and 22 in. My mom had no doubts about Caesarian. Cheer up, we live in civilised world and don't have to let our women die for their childbirth.