Today, my boyfriend of 4 years complained about having to jack off for IVF. We haven't had sex in 9 months, I have to take hormone injections, and I'm jealous of his own hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have an incredibly high sex drive. My boyfriend doesn't. He made me throw away my, rarely used, sex toys because he's jealous of them. I wouldn't need them if we had sex more. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Is there something about the IVF that prevents you from being able to have sex, or was your relationship already doomed beforehand?
fjvitt 14
Maybe you might want to reconsider everything going on here...
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Comments (15)
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Jack off for IVF" is the new "Bear down for midterms".
faifai_fml 21
If they can't commit enough to get married, there's definitely a problem in the relationship. But noooooo, bring more lives into a world with millions of unwanted children in foster care & adoption systmes worldwide. That'll solve your commitment issues.
guiltyschuldig49 12
For those who don’t understand the no sex for nine months, sex during IVF is not recommended for the best success. Ejaculation causes a lower number of sperm when it’s time to collect samples. And the injections for egg retrieval can cause enlarged ovaries making sex painful for the woman.
clair_brodie 35
YDI Why would you want to have a kid in this world right now? If you do want a kid why not adopt one that already exists and needs a home. Sex causes pregnancy, try that. Maybe get married also, try that sort of commitment first before a kid.