Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless. FML
Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
Today, my parents had my little sister's birthday pool party at our house. My mom decided to tell all the guests that the pool was "just for decoration" and nobody would actually be allowed to swim in it. Cue a million screaming tantrums and my parents and even me receiving tons of hate. FML
Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Aww. :/ I'm not trying to be mean by saying this, but you should probably take some swimming lessons. It'll help, I promise!
omfgrofl1337 0
your sister is a win
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Comments (136)
Freeze_fml 17
You're just mad because you lost. Maybe you'll get first next time. Suck it up.
bandgeek_bri 0
wow! that's horrible that's something my sus wud do unfortuneatly
ILOVE2model 0
lmao that's funny.. and very embaressing
Loveheart 0
i want my hair your colour :o
AlternaBarbie 0
LOL@FAKE.
lovesteph3523 0
your ******* pic is on google
laxdude21 0
wats ur number?
BrookeBabe92 0
Haha, your sister is awesome. (:
isabella3 0
yeah proff!
lovesteph3523 0
wow. your sister sounds annoying
lovesteph3523 0
im not emo dumbass
lovesteph3523 0
I dont care what you say. At least i have a picture, unlike you.
Loveheart 0
Proff is a wanker
DisappearingRose 18
my sister is a bitch too. I hate her
Xavi89 0
hahaha little sister always have an epic quote!
ComMed1 0
how hard is it to learn how to swim. my daughter just Learned and she turns three tomorrow. maybe if you got off your ass and did some physical activity you might learn something.