Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML
Today, I had a night shift as a front desk clerk in a nice hotel. Even with 2 years experience, I truly wasn't ready for what was about to happen. From a burned hand by boiling water to unpaid rooms via a guest identification scandal at 3 a.m., everything that could go wrong did. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML
Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kurodansei 16
He figured if he scared you to death you'd never leave work.
Welshite 40
That's ok. He's just getting you prepared for the zombie apocalypse. I'm sorry to say that your chances of surviving are slim at this point.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
weveallbeenthere 30
sounds like a fun boss.
nopasanada 3
hahaha your boss has a nice sense of humor
ishchandan 14
Hey, look at the bright side, at least you didn't shit your pants... FYL in a good way.
KatyLarae 13
What hotel has a graveyard?
False_Stupidity 42
See #53
HaiEthan 5
Atleast he's got a sense of humor.
titibug823 11
Perhaps use the laundry room to wash you pants, then find something temporary to wear in the mean time.
chenjitong1997 15
At least it boss has a sense of humor! He should be pretty easy to get along and make him happy! Good luck with the job
trell000 13
Not if he manages to get juggernaut and pack-a-punches a blundergat.
KimSunny 8
At least you're not the only one? Now you'll have something to laugh about with your other colleagues!
123edud 6
He's gonna end up getting stabbed or shot if he does it to the wrong person.