Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML
Today, I had a night shift as a front desk clerk in a nice hotel. Even with 2 years experience, I truly wasn't ready for what was about to happen. From a burned hand by boiling water to unpaid rooms via a guest identification scandal at 3 a.m., everything that could go wrong did. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML
Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML
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Top comments
kurodansei 16
He figured if he scared you to death you'd never leave work.
Welshite 40
That's ok. He's just getting you prepared for the zombie apocalypse. I'm sorry to say that your chances of surviving are slim at this point.
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Comments (90)
superdom 12
I'm sorry but that's funny
asparagus12 21
Best boss ever!!!!
lifesucks0294 8
Looks like someone needs diapers
introductionn 13
Well, we found ourselves a real Michael Scott.
pirrirri 8
Am I the only one wondering what kind of hotel has a graveyard?
sunshineb81 16
# 52. Yes. Yes you are.
False_Stupidity 42
Apparently not, #63 asked the same thing.
sunshineb81 16
This story made me literally laugh out loud OP. Thank you very much for sharing. Funniest FML award goes to you and your wonderful boss:)
sanecatlady 13
I don't get this whole sudden loss of bladder and/or bowel control out of terror thing. That's something you're supposed to do *after* you die, to get rid of whatever hint of dignity you had left.
bombielol 20
it's you're turn to see the newbie get scared now ((:
Steve95401 49
Your turn
rks01 13
Or he could take revenge ;D
ArmyDoc 11
Adult diapers─ your new best friend.
afrique_fml 3
baby,go!