Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML
Today, I had to pee at work. I ended up using all the toilet paper. When I opened the door to leave, a dude was waiting to use the washroom. I told him there was no more toilet paper. He goes, “You finished all of it?” I panicked and said, “No, I didn’t use any!” FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
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Top comments
ryannmichael 17
Hope you have learned your lesson... always check if there's toilet paper before taking a crap.
NotGabe 28
Should've wiped bare handed, then give that guy a nice, slow, caress on the face.
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Comments (66)
RealSuperSand 21
"I don't know who you are, but I will find you, and I will kill you."
ghetto_child 19
nice coworkers you got there!
EarlFug 19
FYL but come on people, poo at home.
ukeandfoodislife 19
If he has an 8+ hour work schedule, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to rupture something.
fpants2010 18
As someone with an intestinal disease, I have to poop at work sometimes. As much as I hate it, it has to be done. Not everyone can always wait until they get home!
ladyfingers 11
Why? You poop at work and you get paid to do it. That's a pretty sweet deal if you ask me.
spinda 22
What a dick. Sorry this happened to you OP!!!
ukeandfoodislife 19
FYL, OP): I hope karma gets back at that guy):
Witchylady 18
What goes around comes around. He may just find himself with poop in his pants out in public cause he couldn't make it to the toilet in time. Some people just don't understand the laws of karma.
olpally 33
Love your username OP... Lmfao! :P sorry that happened though, I'd get revenge on him for that!
Krwman 8
Ok. This happened in UAE--Abu Dhabi. Let's go with some assumptions: the protagonists are expats. They work at an MNC in relative close quarters. OP should be able to figure out who did this, if not through voice recognition then thru the rumor mill. A jerk like this won't stay quiet about it. Bring a bottle of a disgusting liquid. Watch for when he enters the restroom. Pour the contents over the stall door. Sometimes you gotta make your own karma
msmedieval 11
I live in abu dhabi, what does that have to do with anything? It's a big city & if OP is working in a big company, he might not even know the jerk. I do like the idea of revenge though....
MyGFisaturd 23
What a shitty situation to be in ;)
worldclassrager 41
It looks like the spawn of satan son is now all grown up...