Today, I found a leather book in my husband's sock drawer with "BRO CODE" on the front. It was blank except for the last page, which said, "NICE TRY SUSAN BUT EVERYONE KNOWS BRO CODE IS UNWRITTEN AND FOR GUYS ONLY". Well-played, husband. Well-played. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML
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Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
Or because your name ISN'T Susan?
blahblabbity 19
is this FML because your name is Susan?
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Comments (11)
blahblabbity 19
is this FML because your name is Susan?
jbuckets_404 39
Or because your name ISN'T Susan?
TheUnforgiven 8
YDI, respect your husband's privacy and trust him. Or you two really need to talk.
Inkoseh 33
Are you ******* retarded? I do the laundry for my husband and kids, so I'd find shit like that instantly. Drawers in a dresser are not snooping places.
joeyl1990 28
Finding it isn't snooping but reading it is.
Silverion Sairee 14
They still invaded their husband's privacy by looking inside the book. Just because they weren't technically snooping, they still found the book and opened it. Instead of leaving it alone.
Billsonhamsen 17
Husbands and wives shouldn't have secrets from each other. It's totally normal for a wife to open up a book she sees if she's curious. This is not an invasion of privacy. Husband and wife are not just roommates.
sarsuela 29
It's a book, not a diary. If he wanted to keep it a secret he should have hidden it in his personal space not a sock drawer which is filled by his wife. He likely wanted her to find it as a prank.
wrhapsody 10
YDI. plus you stole this from elsewhere.
1known 34
Living with someone who follows something as stupid as the "bro code" is a true FML situation.
RichardPencil 32
Hold on! I paid $250 for a looseleaf binder with The Bro Code. It has wisdom like no talking in the men's room, a list of good negs, and condoms are for losers. You're telling me that might not be legit?
Inkoseh 33
Pretty sure you were gypped and you're reading a binder full of Pokemon cards.
raven_of_azarath 35
There’s actually a book containing the bro code. It’s a How I Met Your Mother thing.
RichardPencil 32
Maybe so, but they are definitely not ordinary Pokemon cards. The image of Squirtle is quite disturbing, and I don't believe there's a Pokemon called Blumpkin.
Davros 12
first rule of bro code is never talk about bro code.
Ilmoran 20
That's why you write it down.
Ilmoran 20
That's why you write it down.
Ilmoran 20
That's why you write it down.
Clinton Bruneau 6
the Bro Code shit is stupid.
Justine Malang 16
Lol that's a good one
Wadlaen 24
Sounds like you got the right kind of man! Hang on to him, and keep the humor in your relationship!😅