Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
quikwit1212 0
What is with the people without pics, who can't type a sentence with a capital letter, and the fact that they keep hitting on random girls that they will probably never meet?
SubjectDelta 0
To clarify, 19 was explaining the complexity of Geller field travel while a ship a cruiser size or larger opens a rift in subspace and pulls itself into the warp. While I agree with his thesis on the matter, I must say that he should have included the compensation required to navigate through the empryean with a cruisers mass and density in mind. I hope this clears up the confusion about his post.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (225)
SubjectX 0
this should show you 2 things: sex is hilarious and fun first time for everything almost always sucks. even sex
Nakedsquirrel 5
The sound of thighs or crotches slapping together usually amuses me too, but I don't think I've ever laughed out loud about it =P
aardvarkish 17
Sense of humor has always been sexy.
yourlifesfucked 0
at least ur not pregnant!
JamieK 0
ballls on my ass are nice, (;
BeyondUno 0
wait a virgin,and your bf was going fast on you?i would expect you to be in some pain lol unless he was really small preventing you to feel anything.
oscar7753 0
hahaha no shiet hes gunna think ur laughing at him lol
kAhlie 0
I think it's hot when his balls hit my butt too. ydi for laughing your dumb
rotflmmfaoatu 0
funny!
emilyaust 8
either you're very dense and mistook his stomach for his balls...or you're so fat that your stomachs whack against each other that much.