Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I loved her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
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Top comments
Escapist28 0
I think technically he was waiting for you to pull out.
Maddoctor 10
All I can say is...wow.
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Comments (128)
OHMYEDWARDDD 0
been there done that....but in my case it was at work and my boss was gonna take my spot
Vaetrus 0
Back home for the summer. Still in high school maybe... Get a life.
beethoven_fml 0
that is too bad
beethoven_fml 0
uh wut Anyway I like this comment a lot is what I mean
quackquackquac 0
he was waiting to pull in, while you pull out...
hatarou 0
looks like he was waiting for you to pull out also
HMTQMadge 1
Yeah. YDI for being stupid ***** and not being able to keep the sausage in the fridge for a while longer.
soccerchick02 3
this is wat a beds for. duh :P ydi
Plum_fml 0
Hmmm thats weird. so he just sat there patiently while you guys had sex? Why didn't he just honk?
Pethegreat 0
Your GF drives a stick. She is a keeper, and awesome. Unless you are on a very steep hill you will not roll back in a car with an automatic transmission. FYL.
Calaura9 0
You deserve it for being a huge **** and not waiting for marriage and not being in a room. But most of all you are a dirty, cheap car ***** and a desperate cheap ***** for letting your girlfriend **** you infront of your house. You disrepected your body, your car, your house, your family and your integrity. (See what I did there?)