Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I loved her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
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Top comments
Escapist28 0
I think technically he was waiting for you to pull out.
Maddoctor 10
All I can say is...wow.
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Comments (128)
chocoLIFE_fml 2
haha
brittrox 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
this is soo a fake post stupid queer!
mojo5678 5
How did any of that statement make sense. You're an idiot and please keep your idiotic thoughts to yourself.
thecrapblog 8
You are not awesome and your comment didn't even make any sense whatsoever!!!!
crazyjack 0
cool dad :d
OneandOnlyOne 0
Did your dad tell you to Get A Room? Or did he just ground you? DUMB!!!
Jbomb01 0
Not terrible, at least you didn't hit your dad rolling back, that would have made the night go even worse.
Flip3289 9
Good thing it was fast don't want him to wait to long on you ;)
ladywaldo 0
Lmao good stuff man good stuff!!!!!!!
wibble28791 0
My thoughts exactly. Wouldn't you notice the car rolling backwards??
emzmcgee 0
Not if the sex is good, duh!
genius_man16 1
lol @ ignorance
manmoosewaffel 0
your a bitch. the dude was just gettin laid. Dont be mad just because your so undesirable. Dont yell at an irish person for gettin laid. Its bad luck :) ha. but your still a bitch 68 :)
derekjeter92 0
YDI... idiots how do u not know ur rolling, idc if u were having sex
jubee 0
That's an interesting story.
Gavik 0
Probably fake if you didn't notice you rolled back 50 feet, but still awesome.
tko 0
who the hell has a 50 foot driveway?
777888777 0
..............i deffinately have a 400 foot driveway? why is 50 so surpriseing to you?