Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML
Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML
Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML
Today, as I was about to get onto the bus, my bus pass fell out of my hands. Being in a rush, I barely picked it up from the street not having a good grasp of it, just to have it fall again as I was about to swipe it. It felt like the whole bus was staring at me. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
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Top comments
p0kegeek 4
Look on the bright side. If he uses your credit cards, you can meet up with him when he's arrested.
Lisimal 7
The acts of seduction...
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Comments (157)
ryan__h 1
WOW a conversation about proceed/proceeds/proceeded
Proceededto____ 0
Today, I was reading on a website generally for funny stories. I proceeded to read some. I then proceeded to comment on this story. When I saw an overused word, I proceeded to mark YDI on this FML. My life sucks, I lost my wallet today. Boo-freakin'-hoo. FML
laxchica 0
i'm sorry, i agree with #20. sometimes using the word 'proceed' is necessary. sometimes it isn't, but it fits anyway. in this FML, it doesn't even sound right. there is no reason for it here, unless you are just trying to get people to comment.
effmuhlyf3 0
Swiper no swiping. SWIPER NO SWIPING. SWIPER NO SWIPING!!!!!!!!!! "Aweeeee maaaannnnn!" (Problem solved
Turtles 0
My goodness, you all need to calm down. Proceeds is a word, people have the right to use it, not everyone reads these little comments so no, they aren't all "jumping on the bandwagon". A lot of English is used improperly, so chill out. Who would have known a bunch of people would get so worked up about a word like "proceeds". You all caring THAT much on a website...thats an FYL in itself. And also, thats pretty shitty...hopefully you didn't have too much in the wallet.
necromancerlord 0
Hey! Thanks for the wallet and everything in it! The cash was really nice and it helped me pay for a date with my girlfriend, who's hotter than you by the way. It's easier to catch the less pretty girls with my wink. However, your wallet was plain tacky. Polka dots, please, that just looks bad. Yours truly, The Cute Thief
coffeennicotine 0
That sucks. But really, people, stop with the "proceeds" shit. You could have just said "he got off the bus"
rallets 23
i "proceeded" to read the entry and then i "proceeded" to sign into my account and then i "proceeded" to leave a comment. that doesn't bother you people complaining about the people complaining about the people saying "proceeded"?
imahorsegirl 0
duuude, that suuucks. the same thing happened to me, only i hunted him down and bitch-slapped him. and took my stuff back. maybe you could try that?
gorjjays6 0
90 needs to establish a real life and not be gay shit