Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML
Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML
Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML
Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, about a minute after telling my son not to pick his nose, he caught me picking mine. This has led to a cascade of, "Why should I follow dad's rules when even dad doesn’t follow dad rules?" He now questions everything I tell him, and is breaking every rule in the book to make his point. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
Today, I was having dinner with my husband and two toddlers. My two year-old son was being incredibly cute and independently drinking water out of an open cup. I commented on how much I loved him. Two seconds later, he threw said cup with water at my head and started laughing. FML
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Top comments
YacL 15
Suddenly, it all makes sense.
krez 20
I guess you didn't know that already? Your kid is smart!
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Comments (116)
pinkredneck30 2
it just shows that your child tried to come up with a good rational reason! WIN! 8)
heyitsrachel98 0
I'm sure you were probably kicked out of the house for that?-.-
Slackness 10
What an outstanding child, be sure to buy him something nice. Your CEO will be impressed by the childs ability for lateral thought at that age. You won!
sourcherri23xx 0
lmao!!!!! ooooh that's so funny
darkangel8799 0
ROTFLMFAO! He's a multitasker and a problem solver. He just showed your bosses that those are 2 of your strong traits. You should be proud! You taught him…
loveexgirl 15
what did the CEOs say...
dinodannyrawr 5
LOL did you beat then when you got home OP?
smurfsarwales 9
beat them with a otter?
BeatlesObsessed 12
I never thought of it that way.
Virginia6810 16
I don't see this as am FML. key words: 3 and 4 year olds. what would really make this an FML is if your husband added, "no, you have 2 holes because you're suppose to pick with 2 fingers while you breathe through your mouth. like this."
Virginia6810 16
ok I will try to phrase this differently. don't be embarrassed by your kids. they are 3 and 4. that's what they do. though I'm sure you were embarrassed, it would have been worse if your husband joined in, "no, you have two holes so you can pick with both fingers and breathe through your mouth, like this."
juturnaamo 29
Gross, but creative and clever. Sounds like a good question from your two year old as well. (If you're a creationist, then it's because God thought we'd look funny with only one, if you're in favor of evolution, logically, two nostrils would allow you to triangulate the location of a smell, just like eyes and ears do)
Virginia6810 16
3 year old *
juturnaamo 29
Thanks. I noticed the typo after the edit window had closed :P Still good for a 3 year old to be inquisitive about stuff like that.
Virginia6810 16
thank you for your service.