Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am NOT a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
Today, my son is smarter than average, almost genius level, and he has now reached an age where not only does he question me at every turn, he actually out-argues me 90% of the time and I can’t do anything about it because technically he’s right and I’m wrong. FML
Today, I was telling my dad how I turned down some guy, but when I mentioned the guy's name my dad was like, “Oh, you mean the son of my old friend, studying computer engineering, genius, real future ahead of him, and you think you can do better than him? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, I posted a meme which said "I don't know where some people learned their inside voices, but it must have been in a helicopter with running chainsaws." My mom laughed at it. I didn't have the strength nor the bravery to tell her that it was meant for her. Then my dad laughed at it. It was also meant for him. FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, my dad said to me, "This millenial idea that you can be happy in life is so wrong." FML
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Top comments
NessaMae 19
Word vomit, gotta love it. Think about your comebacks before you say them, it usually never comes out right when you just blurt it out.
Razi_tail 25
You are never going to live that one down! :P
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Comments (55)
Jellybellybeanz 22
I suck at comebacks too....at least, I've finally stopped that annoying phase where I always respond with "I know you are but what am I!" I was so embarrassing....
Soundslikeothers 15
I know you are but what am I!
xevilxdemonxx 8
My brother did the exact same thing once so you're not the only one
mishacollins 15
Sorry op, but I had to laugh.
Kamon97 23
Simple just don't die :p
worldclassrager 41
Better not die first
never_three 21
am i the only one wondering if this is the girl from the "Canada is part of the UK" post...?
jenjen2633 17
That's what I thought too, until I saw the gender lol
never_three 21
you never know they could be pretending so that nobody makes the connection lol sorta like an FML catfish
depacse 4
you've got to be the daughter of the op of the post before this one
Britt125 16
LOL, too funny. Sounds like something I'd do. Those things just slip out sometimes, best thing is to just laugh it off.
ArmyDoc 11
This made me think of what I want on mine. I'm thinking.. Here lies M. Ryan Age 105 The good die young..