Today, the lady whose house I clean insists I stole her Hermes bag. I never went into her closet when cleaning; just her kitchen, living room and bathrooms. Apparently, it's worth $4000. She threatened to "call ICE and Homeland Security" if I don't "cough it up." I'm a naturalized citizen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML
Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML
Today, my house cleaner discovered I cross-dress as she was cleaning. She found the pretty nightgowns I wear to bed and other items. Now she wants extra money or she will make my cross dressing public. FML
Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML
Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Linda Graber 12
Sorry. I accidentally clicked on you deserved it but then I clicked you do not deserve it. Sorry you have to go through this.
tiptoppc 21
Call back, say you no understand and record it. Then file charges for extortion and terroristic threats. **** that lady. And for anyone scared about ICE, I’m white and I’m scared too. My wife was born here too, but the harassment is bad. I refuse to even service one of our companies customers because the racism in a government post that serves minorities is absolutely unreal.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
Linda Graber 12
Sorry. I accidentally clicked on you deserved it but then I clicked you do not deserve it. Sorry you have to go through this.
tiptoppc 21
Call back, say you no understand and record it. Then file charges for extortion and terroristic threats. **** that lady. And for anyone scared about ICE, I’m white and I’m scared too. My wife was born here too, but the harassment is bad. I refuse to even service one of our companies customers because the racism in a government post that serves minorities is absolutely unreal.