Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML
Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, at 2 a.m. I heard a noise coming from the living room. I thought somebody must be breaking in, so I had to save my cats. When I opened the door, all I could see was the only plant I owned, all over the room. The cats just greeted me with a friendly purr, like they were happy I was joining them in their sandbox. FML
Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He was really trying out his dream job of becoming a cat burglar. It's all part of the master plan.
BBeffedmylife 28
Don't feel bad OP! I'm convinced my cat is a robber or ghost sometimes!
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Comments (46)
worldclassrager 41
Your cat has to claw at something it's a start until you get the post out
Ishilied 11
I always suspect my cats first.
allisurd 17
Kitty's climbin in your windows Kitty's snatchin your tuna up Tryna nom em so y'all need to Hide your catnip, hide your mice And hide your string cuz they're meowing everybody out.
blindguy29 6
Please learn what a robbery and a home invasion are before talking.
PizzaboyPB 4
Instead of running away or attempting to fight or get help, you decided to cry? That doesn't make any sense.
Aquila_Umbrae 26
Did you not know that cats steal your soul?
mosquito19 14
yeah, if i was a thief, I'll be in your kitchen.
Nyx7 24
Dear god...grab a knife or something and check, all sobbing is gonna do is alert them "hey there's someone here,I might need to kill someone"
bluucat 17
At least you didn't get hurt OP!
TomeDr 25
I think for your own piece of mind, you might want to invest in a security system.