Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML
Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML
Today, I woke up after putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize what I'd done until I smelt burning plastic. FML
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML
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Top comments
RyanRaygun 0
Not to mention your heroin habit.
chakrabs 0
What are you, an idiot? Why wouldnt you use a microwave? I use it all the time with my cereal, its too cold sometimes and hurts my teeth. 10 seconds in the nuker is usually enough.
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Comments (411)
kat666 0
I take it you never learnt that metal is a heat conductor? You fool, you would've been better off heating it in the microwave!!
juicyfruit23 0
you're an idiot. who the HELL puts a hot, just heated by a candle, with a piece of "heated" cereal on it in the mouth to see what warm cereal tastes like. dipshit
mastodontool 0
I know Fmylife says to be respectful when you comment, but you could be the stupidest person I have ever had the misfortune of reading about. FIRE......METAL SPOON.....hey let me put that in my mouth. I wonder what the outcome may be......MMMMMMM, Youre a ******* idiot. YDI. YDI. YDI. YDI. Are you related to Einstein?? O no, wait , he was smart wasnt he??
Imoteda 0
YOU DUMB FOOL!!!!!
skiz_fml 0
and thats why god invented the microwave
circayouandme 0
That'll teach you to experiment
tibbydibby 0
You really need to be careful next time, okay?
bms1604 0
you are an idiot.
ianv 0
you're a flaming retard HOORAY puns!
punkbitchhh 0
Wow.. you are a dumbass