Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML
Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML
Today, I woke up after putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize what I'd done until I smelt burning plastic. FML
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RyanRaygun 0
Not to mention your heroin habit.
chakrabs 0
What are you, an idiot? Why wouldnt you use a microwave? I use it all the time with my cereal, its too cold sometimes and hurts my teeth. 10 seconds in the nuker is usually enough.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (411)
user1101 0
i think i did something that stupid before! YDI
mjsmclaren 0
That's what happens when you light metal on fire...dumbass
Chickmechanic69 0
you seriously are the definition of an idiot... way to go. *claps*
lololol_fml 0
Oh you are such a moron, future Darwin Award for you!
neverland_fml 0
You're omish and have a computer? Here's a quick lesson to update you to modern day, hun: metal + fire = easily warmed up.
xx_hayleyy 0
yeah its 2009, not 1809..
zorkat 0
LOL OMG...... you'd have to be ignorant to not realise..... YDI.
Lamia_fml 0
One word...dipshit!!!!
DankJemo 0
Do you happen to ride the short-bus to school? Because that is the dumbest thing I have heard of someone intentionally doing in years. A two year old know when something is hot!
arms_akimbo 0
Hey guys i'm going to jam a hot metal spoon in my mouth, it'll be awesome!