Today, one of my residents was having super loud sex. I'm an RA in a college freshman dorm, and I had to knock on her door and tell her to quiet down. I hate to be a cock-block, but she woke multiple people up, myself included. I live 4 doors down the hall from her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML
Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML
Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML
Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
She must have left Caps Lock on.
jbuckets_404 39
She was probably faking it then being THAT loud....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (24)
jbuckets_404 39
She was probably faking it then being THAT loud....
Travis Morgan 3
You've been doing it wrong, then.
real life problems 26
You cant tell a fake from real, Travis
xSphinx 18
So both then? Or did you mean "than?"
xSphinx 18
Misread your comment. Nevermind.
BurnInDemonFire 39
She must have left Caps Lock on.
Travis Morgan 3
Awesome.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I think you mean "AWESOME!".
awildwhisper 30
Next floor plan idea: DIY Ball Gag
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Kel, get me a rope, a tennis ball, and some scissors, and meet me in the bedroom! Come on, Slappy!"
ThrottleJockey 36
"Keenan! Keenan! hemp rope or nylon rope? I'm only allowed to use safety scissors, is that ok? Keenan! Aww, here it goes!"
WHSKitty4ever 23
Ummmm, wouldn’t this be an FML for the **** star?
RichardPencil 32
What would have been awkward was using your master key to try to get in on a threesome.
skippydoda 32
You can be as loud as the hell you want when you're making love!
Mungolikecandy 19
You can be, but expect complaints if you are not in an anechoic chamber.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Dude, your parents must have been ninja when they had sex. Unless you're telling us they were loud, too, and you didn't mind.
Maria_Obligacia 14
No you don't. It's generally wrong to be a dick to your neighbors. Being loud in the middle of the night and waking everybody up is inexcusable.
1known 34
You should have said nothing, it would stop at one time. And then tell her with a note under her door the next day.
Mortoli 30
legendary dick i guess damn. I wish I was big/good enough to make a girl scream half thatbwell .lol
Suaria 38
You can find other ways of pleasuring a woman other than your dick. Get better at using your fingers and/or your mouth on a woman.
real life problems 26
Why dont you just learn how to use your dick size properly
Razell 13
Did you tell the other person involved that if she's that loud she's probably faking?