Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that yet again I'm having twins. Sounds great and all, but the only problem is that my mother-in-law is the one pregnant. Oh boy, I'm fucked! FML
Today, I announced my fourth pregnancy, this time with twins. I heard my mother mutter, “Finally two kids from the same dad.” FML
Today, one of my twin sons found out he's going to be a dad. His little sister who loves science ended up telling him that, since he has a twin who is genetically identical, he's genetically the baby's dad too. My son, being a bit dim, took this to mean his brother slept with his wife and hit him. FML
Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, my sister-in-law announced that she’s pregnant. With my kid. And the doctor thinks it might be twins. FML
Today, after I had a miscarriage in December, and finding out in June that I was 13 weeks pregnant with twins, I was told out that Baby B had consumed Baby A. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and confided in my mom, after being told I would have trouble having kids. Five minutes later, I hear the whole family laughing about it downstairs. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML
Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
unholyhalfbreed 4
I can see a horror movie in the making.
heyguysitsjosh 8
At least your kids will always have someone to play with! Unless of course one of your children absorbs the other.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (155)
picturescrazy 24
Twins aren't always genetic, especially if they are identical, which have nothing to do with genetics. If they are fraternal, keep in mind the males in the family could pass it on to their daughters, although it obviously wouldn't manifest itself in the male since they don't have eggs. Congrats by the way! I hear twins can be a blast!
Coalke 5
Why were you surprised because no one else had twins. Not related at all. You have the same chance as anybody else.
xXciel_noirXx 2
I absorbed my twin. It actually happens pretty often.
ScrapperDoggie 4
Okay, I just looked it up and I have to warn you all - DO NOT GO TO THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE FOR VANISHING TWIN SYNDROME!!!!
greatfirstdate 18
Blue waffle effect--I just did because of your comment XD
mowmowlife 21
Hard to understand the FML. If it's about the mom's twin re absorption, it's not all that uncommon. If the FML lies in the mom's describing it as a problem due to OP already being attached to her twins, (haha) that's a little more sensical.
skyeyez9 25
There is an article on the internet I read a couple yrs ago where a baby absorbed its twin....everything was absorbed but the twin's penis. That was attached to the baby's back. That was the weirdest pic I have ever seen.
Kaiouti 2
As far as I'm aware, my family does not have a history of twining, and I am an identical twin. Additionally I wouldn't jump to genetics being the underlying cause as I do not believe we have come to a solid explanation for said phenomenon. Feel free to correct me though, I'm still curious or possibly misinformed.
courtneyann211 10
Identical twins are the ones not genetic
Kaiouti 2
I know I'm late here but, any twin is genetic, identical = 1 egg - 1sperm (100% dna match) or fraternal, two eggs - two sperm (50%) dna match.
reaxion 25
Flashbacks of the original Total Recall there! Ever seen your mum in a bikini?
Brilliant66star 17
I've heard that up to 75% of human conceptions start out as twins & that in ~75% of those conceptions, a twin is re-absorbed. It's tough to recall the stats, but I also heard this is an explanation for left-handedness in humans. Only 15-20% of the population is left-handed, yet, supposedly, ~50% of twins are left-handed. I'd love to know more about this, if anyone has the facts.
Bekll 31
I once read that 1 in 10 non twin people had a twin in the womb who didn't make it. If that's true it's really interesting.
yenidewi 11
hahhahahahahha ...reason to have a split personality ... lol