Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JustinThunder 8
Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.
Anupants 0
That is a no bueno.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (260)
shake_my_head 2
isn't it sort of the same thing every time? It's really easy to be like someone else at it... its the same thing
MROMRO 0
You went down on him on the first intimate occasion? Man, he's got himself a good one!
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, RED ALERT! RED ALERT! ABANDON SHIP! ABANDON SHI-----/insert explosion.
Legend_514 0
I'll get hard for u girl
LochNessMonsterr 3
Ouch. . This is the first REAL FML moment I've read all day. . #1 He cries, dump him. #2 He cries over another girl, AND while your slightly demeaning yourself in his honor. DUMP HIM. No one likes whiney emo boys.
tke257 0
I would have bit it & said "did she ever do that" & leave xD LMFAO !
Xeniroth 2
Did he rape a teenager?
thebamdino 0
That sucks
Janawa 22
Hits third base. Starts bawling like a baby. Socially awkward penguin is socially awkward.
dyne808 34
well thats... awkward