Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML
Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML
Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
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Top comments
BoobsAreAmazing 7
You could have just nodded/shook your head.
PipingMouse 14
Or you could have done an interpretive dance.
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Comments (139)
BunBunBabe 8
Haha! Did you panic and admit you're not deaf or sign jibberish back?
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Your social issues wont improve if you dont try to get better
ironichalibut 24
So you were struck deaf and dumb?;)
moonsalt 20
Hahaha. I don't like sitting next to strangers either, but it's a plane. You're gonna have to suck it up from now on.
goschalicious 4
There's only one thing you can do, as she is about to speak place your pointer finger upon her lips and make a shush noise. Then lean in really close and look into her eyes. Tell her your there to protect he and you'll always comfort her. Then start rubbing her legs and offer her your potato
seblikescricket 7
y not just nod ur head?
DocBastard 40
Why not just spell your comment out?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
*because...and *because
kenoswild 14
I am deaf. I don't pretend to be hearing. Maybe you should learn ASL in case this happens again.
Enslaved 38
I'm far from shy but there are times that I don't want to be bothered. Why not just turn your body in the opposite direction? Continue to text, read your magazine, sudoku whatever. Hopefully she'd read your body language and leave you be. No fibbing involved. (:
kieralumina 30
op doesn't deserve it for not sharing, but pretending to be deaf just to avoid having someone sit next to them. get headphones and avoid eye contact. all op had to do was nod and this couldve been avoided.