Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML
Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML
Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BoobsAreAmazing 7
You could have just nodded/shook your head.
PipingMouse 14
Or you could have done an interpretive dance.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
lexa1love 16
I would have just smiled, nodded and patted the seat next to me. That way you don't have to talk, and it doesn't seem like you were being rude. :)
PipingMouse 14
You need to work those "social" issues out, OP. It makes you sound like an douche-canoe.
AssTard 15
15- Easier said than done, especially from a spectator's point of view.
brent321 10
Hahahahahahahahahah that sucks dude, in this particular instance i would not appreciate the condiment of the other intellectual whose view points out stand the typical intelligent average.
DocBastard 40
And this, boys and girls, is what it looks like when you comment immediately after smoking dried rhinoceros shit.
gracehi 33
^ Looks like a coke bottle trapped in someone's pelvis to me, Doc. Ooooh, you meant the blithering idiot your replied to. My bad.
gracehi 33
*you replied to. **** you, phone, making me look like an intolerable hypocrite.
Rangant 7
Well I'm sure a flight full of people with no possible means of escape incase something like this happens again onboard will help your serious social issues.
80sgurl 15
You should've just nodded, or just have said "sure".
PipingMouse 14
Saying "sure" after she broke out in sign language would have seemed a little weird dont you think?
AnyaS 19
18 said should HAVE... meaning to do those things in place of pretending to be deaf and using "sign language".
80sgurl 15
Yes thank you
WrongRomance 11
Pretend to be blind, if it's believable at that point.
kishorekumar_a 10
No 62, it will be done by spreading out OP's magical senses.
Nikkitaria 9
As someone who had to struggle with social anxiety, it sounds way more complicated to pretend being deaf than to simply nod. Either way, you need to deal with your situation. The faster the better.
gracehi 33
Next time, pretend to have the plague. No one will sit next to you then. Or maybe you should stop showering. That's a great way to get people to avoid you.
Ameel_fml 19
Wouldn't pretending to be deaf be MORE socially awkward than just answering 'yes' or 'no'? I'm extremely socially awkward and the thought of faking a disability seems incredibly embarrassing (not to mention, douchey) to me.
CharresBarkrey 16
I too have social anxiety and I would be way too scared to fake a disability. That just focuses more attention on you, which is exactly what people with social phobia try to avoid.
perdix 31
Pretend you only know Hebrew Sign Language which is read from right-to-left, so you don't understand. That'd take some chutzpah!