Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I got the most action I've had in months when a stranger fondled my thigh on the subway. It was a blind man, searching for empty seats. FML
Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
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Top comments
texashater75 16
That blows.
rosie981 3
That's the grossest thing I've ever heard.....
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Comments (175)
Calyx_fml 22
That's what that video camera on your smartphone is for. That shit would have gone viral.
osm1989_fml 6
Are you sure you're using the right word here? Otherwise, how did you not notice right away someone trying to blow himself? It seems to me that that would be fairly hard to miss.
xtalondriver 14
The proper term would be "attempting ti perform auto-fellatio." I don't have any personal experience with that, though.
stormchaser24 24
Enjoy your nightmares.
15949058 4
What does fallate mean? Sorry. If it is gross FYL
Dracoboxer357 36
86- *Sighs* The man was trying to publicly suck his own penis, for whatever reason, God only knows. :p Yes, icky. :P
Mahtari 19
I ******* love the subway.
RyaWolf 0
he wanted to touch you.
robberry 11
When a car is completely empty at rush hour, there is always a reason why.
Keithums69 0
yeah that was prolly me you sat next to. I obviously needed help but all you did was watch you sicko, I hate perverts who just stare. what's this world cummin to?? Haha see what I did there. el oh el
abbynoelle 1
Does that mean masturbating?
john443 5
It means he is trying to give himself head. So yes
5t3ff1k4h 45
Fellate, as in performing the act of fellatio, which is a *******. *facepalm*