Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his mom for the very first time. After shaking my hand and looking me up and down, she loudly proclaimed, "She doesn't have the right hips to have kids." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home to meet my family. The first thing my mom said to him was, “Oh, you can do so much better. Like a paint huffer or a crack whore.” She was serious, and my entire family nodded in agreement. FML
Today, I was hanging with my boyfriend. When his mom came to pick him up, he introduced me. She talked to me politely and I thought we hit it off very well. As I was walking away, I heard her say, "That's your new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so much better." FML
Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter." I'm a guy. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
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Top comments
Sekkaichi 12
Were you wearing the anklet from Ghana?
MeowZebraMeow 7
I suggest you marry into that family. Think of how amazing it will be at holidays. "I don't pass the potatoes to ******".
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Comments (90)
\ 28
Perhaps your dress tipped her off...?
Elle_ShellBelle 15
Inappropriate. I hope your bf put her in her place. Mothers and their sons.
amburr17 6
Wow that's so ******* rude lol I. Would just smile and keep walking that's the best thing to do
perdix 31
"It's OK, your son likes me to finger his anus and I'm not sure I washed my hand thoroughly." "That's probably your fault in the first place."
D3ATHZ3RO 15
What a judge mental self-righteous bitch, you don't need her approval, **** her
AurumPotestasEst 16
Bowm chicka wow wow?
AurumPotestasEst 16
I guess that one was a miss... oh well.
Epikouros 32
Is Judge Mental some kind of crazy superhero, like the one in your avatar?
RedPillSucks 33
Like Judge Dredd, only a little crazier.
redbandit9877 12
Just say something like "I don't normally either, but since your my boyfriend's mother I was going to make an exception"
MGITSWFTC 17
You need to work on your first impressions, she needs to work on not being a bitch. Nobody's perfcet
olpally 33
Judgmental much? The mom sounds like the ***** here, takes one to know one! Lol. Fyl op.
QXR2 14
What is your rate?
fruitslut 11
Run. Now.