Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
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Top comments
SamanthaNGoree 10
Was the hair still attached to your head when he tried to floss?
Dashelle 25
What a weirdo.
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Comments (65)
gangnamstyle_fml 5
Food stuck in your teeth is good for your hair look it up
ZodiacalComa7 11
Gotta love the weird ones.
6blueviolet6 6
Hair fetish maybe?
firefly319 7
I think I just threw up a little. Ick.
PaulieXP 16
I've known for a long time that the world is full of idiots and retards, but man, before I discovered this site it never really occured to me just how many there are... Also life is ******* unfair as hell, how the hell can a nutjob like that even get a date but a normal guy like me can't seem to catch a break lately??
NichEzec 4
hes trying to be funny to you i guess.
Epikouros 32
This FML shows why you can't believe women who claim they want a guy with a sense of humor.
jutyjaty 9
How does that even happen?...
CrazyShytHappens 4
I can't understand why anyone would think you deserved it.
xRezSynn 15
What the heck?