Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SamanthaNGoree 10
Was the hair still attached to your head when he tried to floss?
Dashelle 25
What a weirdo.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
You see, even if you successfully 'cured' him of hair flossing syndrome, he is bound to have countless other idiosyncrasies, each one stranger than the last. The question is, how far down this dark path do you wish to go?
jrock9093 18
At least he has some sort of hygiene lmao
Shyboy333 10
Seriously, who does that
AlWAYSN4EVR 13
Perhaps your hair is dirty already.
BlackPhenom 9
What the hell did I just read?
etishuman22 32
You just read that OP went on a first date with some guy that tried to floss his teeth with her hair. Sorry. I had to be a smart ass. Okay I'm done now!
LithFlavored 10
What a pig. That's disgusting and kinda disrespectful.
Epikouros 32
Hey! Speaking of disrespect... People are using my hair to paint all the time, and nobody's complaining about that.
tannara 12
That's absolutely disgusting. :(
Siererrr 13
seems a little unrealistic
worldclassrager 41
I am not sure if I should say he likes your hair or just is a bit off...
awkwardloveannie 28
how long is your hair? how long did it take you to notice? what did he eat? during which part of the date did it occur?
Epikouros 32
You should become a journalist.