Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
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Top comments
SamanthaNGoree 10
Was the hair still attached to your head when he tried to floss?
Dashelle 25
What a weirdo.
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Comments (65)
Brandon2916 9
Well, he did just save a bunch of money on dental floss by switching to human hair...
M3DIC4T3 29
Smile and proudly tell him you've kept your head lice alive for approximately 3 weeks now.
LilMissHotHead 10
Ew that's nasty! What did you do to him?
randm_dude 9
Eeeew. At least you can say, you kinda fulfilled his oral needs.
capsule_fml 3
yikes!
georgeee97 9
Maybe not a good idea for a second date.
randm_dude 9
So for what date would that actually be a good idea? The third or the fourth?
sweet23_fml 11
i think he ment for op to not go on a second date with that freak
randm_dude 9
Ah ok, I totally misunderstood him, then.
lwonderful 11
That's just weird...
candyycurnn 10
Was it a prank or is he just that odd?
dodgethis3500 17
When Harry met Sally.
Allornone 35
I was hoping someone else besides me would think of that.
xassass1nx 11
Well, if u like him, you'll get used to his habits, however weird they are