Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I finally convinced my shy new cat to come out from under the bed and hang out with me on the couch. I felt like a true cat whisperer until, in the middle of petting her, she jumped up, knocked over my mug, and spilled hot cocoa all over my book. She then looked at me as if I was the one who messed up. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
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Top comments
lionandthelamb61 9
It probably sensed your fear.
toelie 26
If she peed on you, it means she considers you her territory. Take the compliment. Beats having your eyes scratched out anyway.
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Comments (38)
bReLiNg 18
Gross... I was peed on by a hamster and a dog on the same day... I feel your pain.
bluerara912 12
Cats suck for many reasons
vassal44 9
If you snort it's piss you will have the best lesbo fantasy EVER
namine120409 42
Well to be fair, it didn't scratch your eyes out.
FuckThisLogin 32
How did it take that long for someone to say that??