Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML
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Top comments
GhostFox 34
... you may want to get that checked out with your GYN and see if there's an underlying cause for the non-citrus component to that particular smell combination.
chrisbrownizhott 15
Maybe you should go to the doctor and get checked for a yeast infection or BV it shouldn't smell like fish...
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Comments (28)
davecross 11
Can I come by a smell it?
tonyfan00 38
So stop f*cking lobsters then!
ThrottleJockey 36
So long as they don't smell like their cheddar biscuits I think you're safe.
saintboogie67 3
I'd eat a Cheddar Bay Biscuit out of her lobster hole
ARISKomuniszt 24
Well that might entice people to go eat down there I guess...
kieralumina 30
You aren't supposed to use soap there. You need to go see your gynecologist if you're experiencing unusual odors. Using soap most likely caused an infection of some sort. please tell me you don't douche.
thatslifeiguess7 16
if you're ****** smells like fish which it shouldn't is because smelly soaps down there are,a no no. I've used plain ivory all my life. plus lemon soaps belong in the kitchen to rid the hands of onions and garlic smells
Lemou_fml 25
EVERY...TIME...? First of all, get that fixed. Second - it did the first and second time... but you chose to continue? "There's something wrong with my SOAP, not my SAP."?
laurellkawes 31
So, you're basically saying your private smell like fish with lemon
BeachMammal 8
Snappy snatch? A lobster can snip something off in a flash.
BanjoCheeseGuy 26
Along with getting that checked out, I would suggest telling your husband that you aren't a fan of it and to get some different soap, I'm sure he'll understand if you don't like the scent of the soap