Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
Today, I went to a party with 5 of my friends. Within five minutes, they'd all paired up and gone. Then it was just me, drinking my pain away. FML
Today, after two months of being teased by my friends for getting wasted and passing out from only one shot, I learned that I wasn't actually too weak to handle the alcohol. My "friends" had secretly laced my drink with sleeping pills. They're now teasing me for believing them. FML
Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML
Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
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Top comments
DrSo 15
1. You had a non-alcoholic house party in Germany. 2. You fell for your own set up. How do you NOT deserve it?!
lakerfan8224 17
The mind is a powerful thing.
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Comments (128)
lakerfan8224 17
The mind is a powerful thing.
xlord 27
And to think I have been buying alcoholic drinks like a sucker all this time when my mind could just make it alcoholic for me!!!
RoboCunnilingus 23
-gasp- Are you Jesus?
Lacist 19
The great placebo effect.
XxcaitanatorXx 12
I don't understand why you were thumbs down
yoyoforpeace 14
If I was at that party I would honestly be pissed...I mean maybe fool everyone at first but then c'mon you have to bring out the real stuff!
HKCgrimmjow 15
Lacist it's not much of a placebo effect if he knew it was non alcoholic!
ShyAnn29 15
91, maybe he forgot..?
Sal_G_63 5
#30 a con in a con? Con-ception!
Lacist 19
I say it still works sometimes, he could have forgot. It's like knowing the bracelet is just plastic or the pill just has sugar, for some reason you trick yourself.
DrSo 15
1. You had a non-alcoholic house party in Germany. 2. You fell for your own set up. How do you NOT deserve it?!
Archay 13
If you knew it was non alcoholic how do you think you're drunk?
rg350dx 29
I didn't even know they sold nonalcoholic beer in Germany. Plus, buying that shit is like kissing your sister.
hashshim 23
40: Send 21 a PM.
WhoWhat_fml 10
Who has an adult party without alcoholic drinks? I sure don't.
evilplatypus 39
72 - Recovering alcoholics, Muslims, Mormons...
i_wuz_nver_here 31
#8 perfect comment and picture combination And 74 don't forget pregnant ladies that still just need their fix
AestheticGuy 21
OP you threw a 'house party' without drinks. Thats pretty much an oxymoron, and its very stupid, lame and weird thing to do. What the hell did all the people do all night? Must have been awkward as ****. Did you lose friends?
imtooshy 18
Ok, I'm really confused. Either all of you are winning an award for best actress/actor or someone spiked the drinks. Not enough info in this fml but hope the party was fun.
Damian95 16
Sounds like it was just one big idiot fest.
imtooshy 18
I cannot argue with you on such a valid point.
Enslaved 38
I'm sure they were feelin' so fly like a G6 Hell Yeah Drink it up, drink-drink it up, When sober girls around me, they be actin' like they drunk"
bennyboy111 7
Guys it's called the placebo effect, u trick or give something to someone who thinks that it will have an affect on them. The mind does the rest, believing the problem was solved eg some pain can be cured by placebo, also this situation is a great example Got some biomedical uses, they usually give placebo injection to one group of mice (usually just a saline solution) and the potential cure to another group, they then record the results to def if the vaccine/medicine is effective
jkmartinjk 16
^But OP *knew* it was non-alcoholic... Therefore he couldn't have tricked himself.
doodlecloud 27
Obviously OP forgot. It's not that bizarre, especially if it was a longer night (more likely to forget as party goes on) or something that OP does regularly (easier to slip into a familiar routine). So yes, still placebo effect.
DiabolusIgnis 15
Placebo doesn't work on mice, though. You can't tell them "this is medicine" when it's not, hence, no placebo effect.
Fmlano 16
OP, I'm guessing you're not the brightest crayon in the box ...
gabe222 25
Nor the sharpest tool in the shed!
HKCgrimmjow 15
Nor the drunkest not drunk person! Oh wait...
epic13 12
Or the most ticklish peach.
sadandangry 2
Umm... how...? And why would you do that in the first place!?
olpally 33
You are a ******* moron...
CharresBarkrey 16
Seriously, like how does this even happen?! I don't think I could trick my own mind like that.
olpally 33
Lol, thanks^^
ManInTheMachine 20
Elena and olpally sittin' in a tree....
ZeroPath5 16
Maybe FML is a dating site after all ...nah
GLaDOS_cake 6
I can see the other 2 people were under the placebo effect, but no OP since he knew.
fml_fwp 9
my eyes tricked me and i saw mormon instead of moron
Warmonger_Smurf 29
*waves hand* These beers are alcoholic.
redstone7693 29
Smooth move!
angelitared 27
Why? No faith in humanity!
Nick_Le_Geek 10
You've held on to it for that long? Shame on you. I lost my faith in humanity years ago!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I hate this phrase so much.. It's way overused and complete bullshit. If everyone thought this way, then absolutely nothing would get done in this world. Not trying to pick on anyone, I just hate that god damn phrase with a passion.
MzZombicidal 36
Now how in the world did you trick YOURSELF, OP?