Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML
Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
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Top comments
dontbegayy 0
dump him .
redbluegreen 41
And you want to marry someone so absent minded?
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Comments (249)
SturmFireforge 0
Smart man; tacos are amazing.
hilda_kitty 16
I have a feeling that there is like a sale or something at the restaurant where they sell tacos... something like 'Burn your house down and get a 50% discount on all tacos!!!'
mizolips 0
seriously, dump him perhaps?
blookitty 5
divorcing him should be easier now since he torched your wedding documents!
anonaussie 0
idiot
Olly_fml 3
Wow.... just.... wow. Seriously how ******* stupid can you be. Someone obviously doesn't pay attention to real world situations. I wonder if someone like that when stubbing his toe giggles with joy.
Muse_89 0
Wow.
melikeulongtime 4
The guy is superb. Congratulations!
newguy90 0
I don't get why so many think dumping him is such a good idea. have these people never been in a real relationship? keep the dumb ass. everybody deserves more than one chance ;)
BananEnigma 24
He burned their f**king house down over a TACO. The guy is a damn fool.
SoundEcho 0
This truly is horrible, however, I can't help but wonder, was he STONED?! sheesh. Munchies much? I can totally see a hardcore stoner doing something that brainless.
Serial 2
is anyone really that dumb?
starflake 3
I'm sorry, but I just can't believe this. I do not think ANYONE is that fricking stupid.