Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML
Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Today, my parents forced me to do chores. I worked extra slow to rebel against their tyranny. My dad then said I'm not allowed to get my learner's permit for another six months and took away my phone. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
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Top comments
lilhellian 27
He's just teaching you by showing you the wrong way.:)
NashyzzleTheN 10
Mama must have been so proud:)
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Comments (144)
cricket55 14
If the truck has larger tires each tire could be upwards of over $500, so the damage could be that massive.
beastiness 14
YDI completely for even taking part. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to change tires on a 4x4 ( assuming it has bigger tires since you called it that ). Last year some dipshit slashed one of my 35 inch mudtires on my truck that was a bitch to fix, and cost a ton of money
Negroification 7
YDI for doing a crappy job keeping watch. Any of you IDIOTS who say "hurr shouldn't have slashed their tires then" should just shut up because you obviously don't understand what it's like to have some halfwit parking a big vehicle in front of your house.
Ima_NeRD6213 4
Atta girl!
your_face 15
Priya, I've never heard of weird having an alternate British spelling before, and a Google search does not support your claim. I think you're just wrong.
djgoreo 12
When you want them to move from in front of your house, wouldn't it be counterproductive to slash their tires right there?
MangaManiacNat 13
You know you could have just said no and refused to be look out. Its kinda your own fault OP.
I_lost_the_game 25
There's no difference between the British way and the American way of spelling weird.
NeonPopRocks 14
Priya, you murder grammar.
MushroomFailcake 0
Dinglebergs!!!!