Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML
Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Today, my parents forced me to do chores. I worked extra slow to rebel against their tyranny. My dad then said I'm not allowed to get my learner's permit for another six months and took away my phone. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lilhellian 27
He's just teaching you by showing you the wrong way.:)
NashyzzleTheN 10
Mama must have been so proud:)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
metalwolf 17
If you knew it was wrong and you did nothing but just stand there and watch instead of saying something or just walking away, YDI.
4ugu4 7
You're dad's cool OP.
chinagirl3343 8
Call the police and have it towed next time! Don't slash their tires.
bakerella 29
my dad and I tried doing this but because it wasn't blocking our view of the street, nothing could be done. coincidentally my dad and I both conspired to slash the person's tire but never actually went through with it
madib329 0
Bonding :)
JoeCool6972 1
Dumbass should have just had the redneck's POS towed.
Bebop_fml 1
you should have been keeping watch better then..
mookiemookie01 24
There are better ways. Park them in so they can't leave, if they want to be there so badly.
motoxraceman2345 1
Lucky you didn't get shot or your ass kicked.
BdizzleHizzle 8
Are your neighbors called the Dinkleburgs?
matouzko 6
Parents must be proud to have such kids to rely on