Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML
Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Today, my parents forced me to do chores. I worked extra slow to rebel against their tyranny. My dad then said I'm not allowed to get my learner's permit for another six months and took away my phone. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
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Top comments
lilhellian 27
He's just teaching you by showing you the wrong way.:)
NashyzzleTheN 10
Mama must have been so proud:)
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Comments (144)
perdix 31
You couldn't handle look-out duty? How hard can that be? Was your dad trying to slash the tires with a butter knife?
RentaName 15
Did you get in trouble by your dad for not doing a good job on watch duty?
anthony21597 2
Shoulda had a ford
Axipiter 24
You probably should have bought one of those wacky moving devices off the infomercial channel. You can move furniture with them. Or even a car. Imagine the hilarity of moving the car down the street, chuckling to yourself as the neighbours call the police to report a stolen vehicle, only to find it turn up halfway down the block. They'd think they were losing their minds, as would the cops! Hilarious!
etoilenuit 15
Hahaha thats funny!!... also sorry that sux
kCbaby0x 5
For some reason I find this hilarious but it sucks for the people's tires lmfao
thathipsterchick 2
Oh, I didn't know it was father/son appreciation day :p
reckless_blonde 5
Sounds like you weren't doing your job then
ohSNAPyall 27
Good point. That had really been overlooked.
jaycooter 0
You went to jail so you are capable of making your own decisions. You should have told your dad no. YDI
lacespace 8
I love how right around the time when you become legal to be imprisoned you're brain suddenly grows the capabilities to make decisions, it's such a weird phenomenon! Op wasnt prepared for the whole great power great responsibility bit, poor legal woman.
rocketpopper1030 11
Well obviously you don't know how to keep watch if you got caught ;)