Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
You fail because you couldn't outrun an old drunk with his dick out. What? You got got square wheels on your wheelchair or something?
rosto16 0
I hope you smack the hell outta him!
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Comments (144)
benen 0
he was marking his territory
ColdGold 6
Now, that would be something to see!
allmidnighteyes 11
Dude has good aim. mad props to him.
what_the_fail 0
Figures this is from Romania
Hemi_Driven 3
The funny thing about piss is it comes out at a certain pressure, which means the stream is only moving forward at a given speed. A medium powerwalk should have been enough to "outrun" the speed of the stream, resulting in a drenched old man. If by "I sped up" you mean "I stuck my foot out for him to more easily piss on" then I consider this little story feasable. If you can't outrun that stream, you deserve every drop of disease laden bodily fluid that old sharp shooter hit you with. Don't believe me? Whip out your little sausage link and try running forward while peeing. Bring a fresh pair of pants.
nolimits 0
Physics FAIL
MusicAlive 0
you should have just told him to piss off. haha get it PISS off.
weezybaby22 0
run BITCH run!
flashback.miss 28
oooo new fetish
cuteness69 0
Eww ! That's gross
cuteness69 0
agree I with weezybaby22