Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CallMeHush 1
You fail because you couldn't outrun an old drunk with his dick out. What? You got got square wheels on your wheelchair or something?
rosto16 0
I hope you smack the hell outta him!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
suntherian 4
Dude what sort of person can't outrun a drunk old man that's busy peeing? And, seriously, at what point did you NOT think "I'm gonna kick this POS in the balls and call the cops while he's on the ground"?
drdingus 27
I concur
greymatter 2
this would suck, but it is pretty funny... lol. but yeah, I probably would have kicked some ass if it happened to me.
THeroinCZ 10
oh...well, u are somehow lucky he didnt aim higher
rubyliu8420 7
That's when u turn around & knock him the **** out!
hornyrabbit12 8
This is why I hate old men! I would of spit at him and push him down.
ChickInGreenVans 12
Is that even legal??
AaliyahMorgan143 5
Drunk or not, I would've beat his ******* ass. No joke.
Dravite 9
Dafuq?
wardie 12
If only all men could aim that well!
Mortoli 30
No offense but by far one of the funniest fml on here but seriously that guy was drunk lol