Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
boone_fml 0
Try communicating with your girlfriend about how you can take her to the bone zone. It doesn't matter what your mom was talking about. If she's not happy she's not happy.
llllllllllllllll_fml 0
she is dumb. who would answer that question?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
mattmag 0
Your mom asked ALOUD? Too bad she didn't just do it telepathically.
ariean 0
he was having dinner with his parents and gf.. and also he's been painting his parent's room at home thats why his mother asked if that's going smoothly.. the gf thought the mother was asking about their relationship in bed or something. Anyway OP, sucks for you hehe.. but at least you know she's not all okay with the sexy time, so hope get your communication going and figure out a way to get things better in bed. good luck!
music_at_work 0
hahahahahahaahaha!
jaybird09 0
u fail
Randomlyscrm13 0
Hahahahahahaha 0mg this was great u made my whole day
Adom694 0
lol fail
JOD96 0
The gf thought the mom was on about sex but she was talking about how the painting was going
ChickInGreenVans 12
Awkwaard!!
worldclassrager 41
Well now you know...maybe that question was supposed to have a double meaning? It's possible right?