Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
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Top comments
boone_fml 0
Try communicating with your girlfriend about how you can take her to the bone zone. It doesn't matter what your mom was talking about. If she's not happy she's not happy.
llllllllllllllll_fml 0
she is dumb. who would answer that question?
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Comments (83)
Rokurota 0
heh
pugpuggy 21
Heh heh
foxyhasmybooty 16
Heh heh heh
boone_fml 0
Try communicating with your girlfriend about how you can take her to the bone zone. It doesn't matter what your mom was talking about. If she's not happy she's not happy.
jts2 3
This.
canucksrule88 0
Wins.
Casualt1234 0
Balls.
DameGreyWulf 1
Indeed.
Rouge_Plague 0
POTATOES!
hippo23 0
I don't get this one...
Zesty697 0
**** you
katiedoll6 7
Are
well_this_sucks 0
haha you both fail.
playfuldesk 0
Haha wow
Gia0896 0
What the freak, i dont get this FML
foxyhasmybooty 16
The mom was talking to her son about the painting his gf thought she was asking about them havering sex in the bedroom and if she was enjoying it or not to which the gf replied no
mj2123 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How exactly does this make sense unless you're earning cash to buy her some toys...?
bosshaug 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Shove a ***** in her cuche when your banging her....That should help stretch things out for her
Jagoda_rox69 0
I still don't understand!
redbluegreen 41
The OP brought his girlfriend over to meet his parents for dinner, and in that time, the OP I guess painted his parents bedroom for some cash. His mom asked how he was doing with painting the room, but how she phrased it [not meant it], has a double meaning, which includes the OP's sexual relationship with his girlfriend. The girlfriend replied for him, 'No'. Is anyone still confused?
canucksrule88 0
hahaha thanks for explaining it for us some people are a bit slow i guess :P
llllllllllllllll_fml 0
she is dumb. who would answer that question?
canucksrule88 0
she would answer that question...clearly...some people just speak without thinking
looserdevars 1
maybe some people are too thick to realize when to shutup.
divaboots 8
lmao xD
xCrackerx 3
YDI for sucking in bed.