Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
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Top comments
boone_fml 0
Try communicating with your girlfriend about how you can take her to the bone zone. It doesn't matter what your mom was talking about. If she's not happy she's not happy.
llllllllllllllll_fml 0
she is dumb. who would answer that question?
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Comments (83)
plexico 4
She should have said, "Hell, no! It's going rough, real rough, just the way I like it. Thanks for raising a wild beast, lady."
Casualt1234 0
a globetrotter always save the good sex til the final two minutes
DeathShad0 1
Solution: Fix it.
A2G_fml 0
YDI for not being good and having a girl that would talk to your parents about that
baritone1whs07 1
maybe she should pay more attention to the convo. or if it sounds like a weird question to ask dont answer or ask what do you mean
lolololcheese 0
******* IDIOTS who didn't understand...............
longboat 0
I would hate to9 have parents like that who don't know what the **** they're talking about.
shudder_glasses 0
this is where the pronoun y'all comes in handy
GriefBacon 0
Sorry....what is the significance here? A play on words? A har har de har har that I am supposed to give you? No. No... I don't get it.
MarcFirewing 0
... *facepalm* that's all I have to say.
friscobuff 0
YDI FOR STILL LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS!
ashj 0
Except... it doesn't sound like he is? "I was painting the master bedroom at my PARENT'S house for some extra cash." Even if he was living with them, how does that mean he deserved it? He may be too young to have his own place, and even if he's not - it's still not relevant.