Today, my ex-boyfriend of over four years ago decided to turn up outside my house at 1 a.m., drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend announced he was engaged. We broke up last night. FML
Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
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Top comments
Steve95401 49
OP's cat is probably the only pussy he'll be getting.
nuggetmonster 12
It looks like you and your cat helped him start his future as a crazy cat man.
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Comments (75)
AmandaLikNoOther 6
This FML is just too funny. Thanks for making my day OP!
LuckyLynx7732 5
Steal your cat? Is that what the kids are calling it now?
bugmenotmofo 34
It is unfortunate that people are this weak today - after breakup they keep bugging their exes for years, even if their exes has moved on. Instead they could try to find somebody else..
Ray_of_midnight 23
I suspect that there are good reasons nobody else wants anything to do with him.
bugmenotmofo 34
You know, with some effort it is possible to change yourself. So the dude could try self-improvement.
cuttiedae4 6
Lml
Ray_of_midnight 23
What's the process for getting a restraining order in Australia?
awkwardpenguin1 3
I'm not sure whether that's awesome or it sucks to be you.... Interesting experience
Mynameislinh 24
Looks like someone's the winner in the break-up!
classicpooh4056 6
It's not nice to steal pussys that aren't yours.
WrongRomance 11
He was just trying to get to your cat through you.
Sly_Assassin 11
If you ended it then I understand a little of why he did it