Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking too much and I had to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I'd pissed the bed. FML
Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
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Top comments
zadok24 11
Well, at least it's not dry anymore
Attacksloth 33
Well at least you know you can still make women wet for you.
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Comments (70)
jakers8424 18
Did she
a1_z9 10
I hope you acted like it was no big deal at all and helped her clean up. Because then there's a high chance she'll love you forever.
Arcanel 18
Wow brother idk what to say to that. On one hand you most likely slept with a gorgeous woman, on the other hand she might not be able to hold her bladder all that well through the night. I'd take it as a confidence booster that you got some action, but maybe not go for her again? Best of luck man !
CaptMacLeod 45
So OP woke up without pants, and so did she. This implies there may have been alcohol involved. Thus full bladders. Plus compressing said bladders. Possibly forgetting to go pee or passing out before you could. Accidents happen. I honestly would have helped her clean up (if she did, that was never clarified) and asked her out to breakfast...then maybe out again for a more sober evening. If you don't make the situation horribly uncomfortable for her, there is a lot of already-broken ice.
trey600rr 22
when life gives you lemons, make lemonade ! Invest in a moisture barrier for your mattress and invite her back over!
fmlsams 27
Look on the bright side - you still woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman!
Feklfekl2222 32
If she's an amazing woman, who's helped you end your dry spell and you otherwise like, maybe overlook the bed wetting? Provided it's not a joke. If it's true she probably can't help it and it's not her fault
The_Basileus 9
Unless she did, then I don't se an issue. Even if she did, then I don't see the issue either.
worldclassrager 41
You broke the spell that's all that matters...now you two can shower together :)
Kapj 14
I'm sorry op
Bleublancrouge_fml 13
At least you can sing "I just had sex". There are no small victories OP.